East Lansing is renowned for its sizzling summer bods, ensuring the campus walking experience to be as arousing as possible. However, as this season departs, so does the tight, revealing clothing that let those midriffs and bulging muscles breathe free. But after a month and a half of rubbing your wool-sock clad feet on the carpet of sexuality, charging up your body’s fuck battery, where can you turn to release your static shock of horniness? Look no further than your trusty old friends in Ernst-Bessey Hall’s electrical outlets. Find yourself a quiet corner, because plugging into this new realm of sexy possibilities is going to get you positively turned on.
7.) By the Farm Lane entrance:
This naughty little number sees hot student bods walk by all day long, as they tantalize it with juicy buns, but has yet to go past the “leering” stage. It desperately wants to lose its E Card, but no one will give it the time of day! Be charitable and serve up this rascally little scamp the loving it needs.
6.) First floor, classroom wing:
This sleek sophisticate’s been all around the block and back, serving up warm power surges to anyone who asks nicely. Polished to the nines, it knows how to seduce with a smooth, square frame and two USB ports for ease of penetrable access. Take a ride with an experienced stallion, and feel the power of an outlet who really knows what it’s doing.
5.) Second floor, classroom wing:
Ooh, what’s this? Two lonely little buddies, longing for power to course through each other, but forever separated by the unfortunate architecture of Ernst-Bessey’s internal wiring? If only they had a ripe, supple body to connect them, someone ready and willing to lay it all on the power line for love and redemption.
4.) Third floor, classroom wing:
This one lets you get real close, the fuckin’ minx. For those less interested in the sultry form of an outlet but more in the raw mechanics of love making, this tried-and-true nugget will get the job done. It’s a bit worse for the wear, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.
3.) Room 311:
The lights were down in the empty classroom 311 as this sultry dame lounged sexily, dreaming of a proper ravishing. Like a voluptuous singer draped across a grand piano in a sparking ruby red dress, this sideways outlet has ferocious power in its sexuality, as if to say “I know you want me, but I’m going to make you work for it.”
2.) First floor, office wing:
Stuck between offices 188 and 189, this lucky little outlet gets sandwich-fucked on the regular, which accounts for it being upside down— for only an outlet truly in the throes of passion can manage the ole’ flip-over, like a greasy hamburger on a charcoal grill. The levels of pleasure it experiences are unknown to man.
1.) Right across from 304:
And there it is, a sadly unavailable outlet. Resist the selfish feelings of sadness or anger. You don’t own this outlet. Point of fact, you don’t own any outlets. It has what it needs, and you have to move on with your life. You’ve spent all your time building up this outlet in your mind, constructing a fantasy to fall in love with. But in the end, that’s what it is. A fantasy. Let go and move on, for both your sakes.
Thus concludes our promenade through the majestic sexual possibilities within Ernst-Bessey. Feel free to bookmark this page in your “Arousing Pornography” internet folder, as few inanimate objects drip with seduction like electrical outlets.
Published originally at The Black Sheep.